When I was a child, I had this tiny pink bear that I slept with every single night. I carried him everywhere. I thought he was the greatest.
I always knew, if I ever felt lonely, all I had to do was get my bear (whom I named Justin.)
My Justin Bear. Look how worn he is. My mom probably sewed his leg and head back on at least 10 times.
Because I had a little bear I loved so much, I always imagined every child fixated on a stuffed animal or a blanket. It just made sense to me.
In my adult life I always saw this to be true. Most children had a beloved toy that if they needed comfort, they could grab it.
Then enter my son, Aiden. He has nothing he is attached to. There are things he loves and things he longs to have; but everything in his world is only there for a season.
I can not get him to love any stuffed animal or any blanket. Know why? Because in the beginning of his life, he had nothing.
There was not one single item he could call his own until he was 4 years old.
There were no toys he could put away for safe keeping. There were no coloring pages he could save as his own. Nothing.
Aiden with his Paw Patrol Chase stuffed animal. He looks attached. Ummm…. this Chase has never seen much play time. But he looks good in Aiden’s room. 🙂
Jared and I went through some serious growing time with him when he finally came home and he had some toys that were actually HIS. He would immediately freak out if you reached for his stuff because he thought he would never see it again. It was heart breaking, but Jared and I had to prove to him that we would protect him and his stuff at all costs. That lesson has helped us tremendously.
As sad as I have been at times that Aiden doesn’t have a security blanket or something he can cuddle with to feel better, I have also grown to love this about him.
Why? Because Aiden find’s more security in Jared as his dad, me as his mom, and Ryman as his brother than any item he owns.
The other night after dinner, Aiden was describing his ice-cream to me by the color of it. He said he had pink, white, and brown ice-cream. Then he said, “You know, brown, like I am brown.” Then he grinned from ear to ear.
I walked over and hugged him so tight – his arms wrapped around me and matched my intensity. I whispered in his ear, “And I love every single thing about you. I love that you are brown and I love who you are. You are amazing.”
My Aiden hugging me.
I could feel his body relax into mine. I am his security. I am his home.
Isn’t that what we have with our Heavenly Father?
While I am so happy to have remnants of our Lord here on earth to love and hold on to – I am so glad I can close my eyes and climb into His lap for my security.
Friend, when you feel lonely – know that there is a God who longs to be your Home. He knows your heart and your hurts. He knows you and loves you and longs to have you wrap yourself in Him.
What wonderful truth I felt the other night with my son’s arms wrapped around me.
In case you feel lonely – know you have a Father who is waiting to hold you.
Close your eyes. Be still. Hear Him speak.